Coming Home
by tivaforever235
Summary: Clarke is gone and Bellamy has to continue his day to day routine back at Camp Jaha. But when she finally returns will he be able to forgive her?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Everyone! I discovered The 100 this year and immediately fell in love with Bellamy and Clarke, specifically Bellarke! I wanted to take a crack at new fics featuring my new favorite TV couple! I'm also working on an AU fic for Bellarke so stayed tuned! Please let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters of The 100.

Coming Home

The patrol at the front of Camp Jaha was Bellamy Blake's preferred duty. If he was required to stand by the front, he had an excuse to look for her. For just a glimpse of her. For weeks he would do all he could to make sure he got assigned to the front, trading with other guards, taking on extra work, and sometimes making promises he and the other guard knew he couldn't keep. After two months, Kane took pity on him and made it his permanent post. Even after all that time he never did see Clarke Griffin come out of the trees.

Occasionally Clarke's mother, Dr. Abby Griffin, would find a reason to come join him. It was usually dark out when everyone else was having dinner and laughing that she would come. She wouldn't say anything, she would just stand with him and watch. Tonight is no different so Bellamy is not surprised when he sees her come up next to him, handing him a cup of water.

"You need to be better about keeping hydrated," Abby said in a quiet voice, surprising Bellamy. "And about eating. Don't think I haven't noticed that either."

"Not hungry," Bellamy grumbled.

"This camp needs you Bellamy," She replied her body turned toward him, the direct eye contact another detail that was different than normal. "No one knows the ground, the grounders, or these kids better than you. They all trust you including the guards and the council."

"I never wanted that," Bellamy said. "I just wanted to protect my sister, that's it."

"Like it or not you got more than you bargained for," She replied putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We need all of you, not the ghost you're turning into."

Abby turned and walked back towards the direction of the medbay, leaving Bellamy by his post at the front gate.

xxxxx

A divide had slowly begun to emerge at Camp Jaha between the Arkers and the 47, specifically at night after all the chores and daily duties were completed. The only Arker who routinely hung out with the 47 was Wick and that was only because he wouldn't leave Raven's side.

Tonight was no different than most. All the 47 were sitting in groups around the fire, eating and laughing. Although the scars were still there, both physical and emotional, the threat the mountain men posed was gone. Bellamy rarely joined the group, always working as he was now.

"Where is Bellamy?" Octavia Blake asked. She was sitting around the fire with her lover Lincoln, Raven, Wick, Jasper, Miller, Harper, Monroe, and Monty. Jasper was sitting as far from Monty as possible, but Jasper had stopped glaring at him at least.

"Working," Wick replied bringing his cup up to his lips. "Where else would he be?"

"He's been working himself to the bone," Raven agreed. "Maybe it keeps him distracted from thinking about a certain someone."

"Don't Raven," Octavia said harshly. "She abandoned us. She abandoned him. She doesn't deserve the loyalty he showers on her."

"Octavia," Lincoln warned softly, placing a hand on her knee.

"What Lincoln? You know that's the truth," She said standing and crossing her arms, her voice rising as her anger climbed. "He was fine before this, before coming to the ground and meeting her. It's obvious she's got him under some kind of spell. Why else would he be deteriorating right before our eyes."

"What's going on?" Bellamy asked.

Lincoln tried catching Octavia's eye, trying to discourage her from the angry outburst he knew was waiting to be released. He understood her anger, but it seems like she didn't know her brother as well as she thought she did. He reached up and grabbed her hand, tugging her to turn her around and shook his head.

"We're worried about you Bellamy," Monty said from the other side of the circle.

"What is with everyone today?" Bellamy replied angrily. "First Abby, now you guys? I'm fine!"

"If you call barely eating, barely sleeping, and working non-stop fine then sure you're great," Raven said sarcastically.

"There's a lot to do around here," Bellamy said half-heartedly.

"That's a lousy excuse big brother," Octavia quietly replied. She stood with her arms crossed and an angry scowl on her face. "I at least know you better than that. Why are you really working yourself to the bone? It's about Clarke isn't it?"

Bellamy stood before his sister, fire in her eyes and suddenly felt so tired he could barely keep himself standing. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as his tired eyes connected with hers.

"God I knew it! What did she do to you?"

"She didn't do anything to me O," Bellamy said his voice rising to match hers. "She left. That's it. End of story."

"Stop lying to me!" Octavia loudly exclaimed.

The rest of the 47 sat mesmerized, all conversations ceased, as they watched the Blake siblings face off. Some of the nearby Arkers even stopped to stare, including Kane, Abby, and Jackson.

"You're my brother Bell, and I know you're not fine. I can tell when something is up. Whatever Clarke did it changed you and I'm not sure I like it."

"I don't care if you like the change or not Octavia! I don't care if any of you like it," Bellamy bellowed, his anger and patience finally evaporating. It seemed like the whole camp had fallen still and silent, all mesmerized by him. "We've all changed because of this goddamn place. For god's sake look at you! Mom would never believe you were the same person, O. All I'm trying to do is take care of you and the rest of the people here like Clarke asked me to."

Octavia stood in silence, watching her strong big brother fall apart. He was breathing heavily from the outburst and despite all the eyes on him tears were forming in his eyes. As one tear escaped and rolled down his cheek, he turned and walked away.

"Bell wait!" She yelled trying to follow him only to be stopped again by Lincoln.

"Let him go," Lincoln said pulling her down next to him. "Give him time."

"None of you have a clue," Monty quietly said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jasper harshly asked.

"You weren't there. You weren't there watching them make the decision that Dante and Cage forced them into. She didn't pull that lever to bring in outside air on her own. They did it together," Monty said sadly. He looked up and made direct eye contact with Octavia, all sadness gone from his eyes only to be replaced with fierce loyalty and protectiveness. "You can be pissed at Clarke for whatever reason you want Octavia, but she did what she did for you. For all of us. So did your brother. All they've ever done was try and keep us alive and they have to live with the consequences of the decisions they made so we stay that way. Clarke and Bellamy need each other and now she's gone. How is he supposed to be doing without the only other person who could understand?"

The rest of the 47 were shocked into silence. They all knew Clarke had done something drastic to free them. Most had assumed Bellamy was at least with her when the decision was made. That's how it always was. They were a team.

"We need Bellamy to survive, but he needs Clarke," Monty said. "So unless she miraculously shows up, this is the Bellamy we have to live with."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The next night Octavia found her brother sitting on a large rock on the far side of Camp Jaha. He had his knees bent and his arms were looped loosely around them. Octavia nervously approached her brother, not wanting to anger him any more than she already had.

"Mind if I join you?" She asked quietly.

Bellamy looked up at her and felt his anger at her evaporate. She looked afraid of him, something he never wanted. He slid over a little on the rock and offered her a small smile. Octavia sighed and sank down next to him on the rock.

"Bell, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't know Clarke was so important to you," Octavia said looping her arm through his.

"I didn't either," Bellamy said sarcastically.

"What's really going on? You can talk to me. You know that right?"

"I know," He said and placed a brotherly kiss on her temple. "But my thoughts aren't the best right now. I'm dealing with it."

"No you're not. You can't protect me from everything Bell," She replied. "That's what got you in this mess in the first place. Just talk to me."

Bellamy sighed and looked back out at the trees. How do you explain your feelings for someone to your little sister when you weren't even 100 percent sure how you did feel?

"She left. She said she couldn't stay without being reminded of what she did," Bellamy whispered as he gazed out at the forest beyond the fence. "It didn't matter that we've both made decisions that cost hundreds of lives. Or that we pulled that lever together. She still left me."

"Aren't you angry with her?" Octavia said trying to keep her own feelings towards Clarke to herself.

"At first I was," He said. "But after a while the constant nightmares and pitying glances wear a guy down."

"Nightmares?" She asked. She'd had no idea he was suffering this much.

"The first one started the night after she left. It wasn't that bad, but they got worse," Bellamy whispered so quietly Octavia almost couldn't hear him. "When I started dreaming about her dying out there by herself I stopped being angry."

"You can't keep these things to yourself Bell. You have to talk to us," Octavia said forcing him to look at her. "If not the others or me then someone. You might not care anymore, but we care about you. All of us do."

"I know," Bellamy replied. "Thanks for looking out for me, O."

He pulled Octavia into a hug, kissing her cheek. Octavia stood leaving him alone to glance back to the woods. She honestly didn't know if she'd gotten through to him, but at least she'd made things right. She couldn't stand the idea of her big brother being angry at her.

Despite her best intentions, Bellamy didn't get much better. He continued to work too much although he did try to eat with the rest of them. He even spent time by the fire with them. He wouldn't joke with them, but he would at least sit there and pretend like he was having fun. But there were still dark circles under his eyes and as two more months rolled by he dragged more and more. Kane found him on a Saturday morning, slumped against the front gate. Sighing, Kane started up to him. When he reached him, Kane placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You ok Blake?" He asked moving to a military stance with his arms behind his back. Bellamy straightened and nodded.

"Yes sir," Bellamy said his voice coming out gravelly.

"It's ok to be hurt," Kane replied surprising Bellamy. "But you don't have do this alone."

"That's what I told her," He whispered, admitting something he hadn't really meant to admit.

"I've known Clarke a long time," Kane said. "Since she was a kid. She's like her mother. Always doing what's best for everyone else instead of themselves. She's just doing what she thought was best. You need to let her do that."

"I know," Bellamy replied glancing at him sadly. "Doesn't mean I have to be ok with it."

"Give her time Bellamy," Kane said patting Bellamy on the shoulder. "Why don't you go take a break. Get some rest. You look like hell."

"Yes sir," Bellamy replied with a smirk.

He turned and started towards his tent. When he was halfway there a loud commotion at the front gate caught his attention. The Arkers in the area along with some of the 47 including Octavia, Monty, Raven and Harper were staring with their mouths wide open and some pointing towards the gate. Octavia glanced over at a confused Bellamy who shrugged. They all started toward the front gate where the crowd had grown, all whispering and pointing to four figures just inside the entrance. The hunting party they'd sent out had returned, but something had obviously gone wrong. Miller and Monroe were both bent at the waist struggling for breath as if they'd just run a marathon. Lincoln was right behind them with a deathly still woman in his arms. As they approached, Bellamy's heart threatened to beat out of his chest. Only one person would cause all this commotion. His suspicions were confirmed when he made his way through the crowd to see a blonde haired woman lying in Lincoln's arms incredibly still with an arrow wedged in her side. Bellamy's heart dropped when he saw the blood dripping from Lincoln's hands.

"Bellamy," Lincoln said in attempt to warn him away.

"No," Bellamy whispered. "Clarke."

"She's alive Bellamy," Lincoln said causing a hush to fall on the crowd. "Where's Abby?"

Abby suddenly appeared followed closely by Jackson. "Oh God! Clarke! What happened? Get her to medical now!"

Lincoln followed them to medical, most of the 47 following closely behind. Bellamy stood frozen staring after them. His heart started beating faster and faster, his breathing increasing until he thought they might explode. He suddenly felt small, but strong hands grasp his shoulders and shake.

"Bellamy!" Octavia screamed. "Please calm down. You're scaring me."

"Lincoln said she was still alive," Raven said. She'd come up next to Octavia, tears in her eyes as she spoke. "Her mom will save her."

Bellamy nodded, not daring to speak for fear the scared tears he was holding back would come tumbling out. He turned to a fully recovered Miller and Monroe both looking just as scared as he was. When he thought he would be able to speak he cleared his throat.

"What happened?" He asked his voice cracking despite his best efforts.

"We found her," Monroe said looking to Miller for support. "She wasn't far from the dropship."

"I'm sorry Bellamy," Miller said.

The 47 made their way to the medbay, crowding the hallway that day as they all waited for some news of Clarke. Bellamy didn't sit, but instead paced up and down the hallway. Lincoln had emerged not long after they'd all arrived, his hands clean but a grim expression on his face. He now sat huddled next to Octavia, obviously listening to her speak softly but not comprehending a word of what she was saying. When the sun began to set, he started loosing hope. Just when he was about to give up altogether he heard the door to the medbay open. A tired looking Jackson emerged stopping short when he saw the crowd outside the door.

"Jackson how is she?" Raven asked rising to stand next to Bellamy.

"She's stable for now," Jackson said his eyes finding Bellamy's. He seemed to only be speaking to him when he spoke. "The arrow wasn't poisoned, but it nicked an artery so we had to mend that. She's still asleep."

"Can I see her?" Bellamy quietly asked.

"I don't know..." Jackson began.

"It's ok Jackson," Abby said from the open doorway. "Let him come back."

Bellamy passed Abby and grasped her hand in thanks, vaguely hearing the door shut behind him. She was laying on the bed, a sheet covering her. Her face was incredibly pale. If he hadn't been watching her so closely he would have been afraid that she was dead. He pulled a stool up next to the bed, gently grasping her left hand is his.

"This isn't how I pictured our reunion Princess," Bellamy whispered as he finally let a tear escape down his cheek. He lifted his right hand to run his fingers through her golden hair. "I guess I don't really know how I pictured our reunion. There's still a part of me that's pissed at you for leaving, but I don't care about that anymore. Just don't leave me for good ok? Please?"

When she remained just as still as she'd been before, he lowered his head to the bed and cried. He cried until the sheets were soaked and he had no tears left. Abby found him an hour later sound asleep. She placed a hand on his shoulder to coax him awake.

"Why don't you go get some rest Bellamy? I'll come find you when she wakes up," Abby suggested.

"I don't want to leave her," Bellamy replied wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"I need some time with her too," Abby said. "Besides she'll probably be asleep for a while. Her body needs to heal."

"Alright," He reluctantly agreed as he rose. He only hesitated for a moment before placing a kiss on Clarke's forehead. He grasped Abby's hands in his surprising himself again when he tugged on them to pull her into a hug. "Thank you for saving her."

"You're welcome," Abby said her voice cracking. "Now go get some rest."

Bellamy left the medbay, almost running Raven over when he let the door shut behind him. The 47 were in the same exact spot as they were when he went in. Raven's eyes were bloodshot and she tried to smile.

"Is she ok?" Raven asked sadly.

"She's still asleep," Bellamy said tiredly. "Abby's with her now. She says Clarke won't wake up for a while so we should all get back to work."

Everyone grudgingly agreed, slowly making their way out of the medbay. They all tried to focus on their duties the next few days, but waiting for Clarke to wake up made it difficult. Bellamy could barely focus and ended up spending most of his time in the medbay with Abby. Three days after her return he was sitting on a stool running his right hand through Clarke's hair. Abby sat on her other side holding Clarke's hand tightly between both of her hands.

"I didn't know you cared about Clarke this much," Abby said as she watched Bellamy.

"I didn't always," Bellamy said with a small smile. "No offense, but she's the most stubborn person I've ever met."

"None taken," Abby said with a chuckle. "She gets that from me and her father."

"I'm honestly not sure when things changed," Bellamy said. "The thought of not seeing her everyday scares me. It's not just that I need her, but the 47 need her more than I do. They don't need me anymore. They haven't in a long time."

Abby watched as Bellamy continued to watch her daughter closely. He was a good man, she could see that now. He'd made mistakes as everyone had, but he and Clarke shared a similar trait - self-destruction. They carried guilt they had no reason to carry.

"You know when Clarke wakes up she's going to need someone to help her forgive herself or she'll just leave again," Abby said as she waited for him to look at her. "That person is not me and I think you know that. She's going to need you, Bellamy. But you'll never be able to help her if you don't forgive yourself too."

"Now you sound like her," Bellamy teased, his smile fading when Abby frowned at him. "It's easier said than done."

"I know," Abby replied smiling at him. "But you need to find a way."

Abby excused herself, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Bellamy looked back down at Clarke and sighed.

"Forgive myself huh?" Bellamy whispered as he brushed her bangs out of her eyes, running his thumb across her forehead. "I will if you will Princess."

He sat with her for another hour before he noticed it, the small tightening of her hand in his. He looked up and watched as her eyelids fluttered before finally opening. She stared up at the ceiling at first before groaning and turning her head, her eyes connecting with Bellamy's.

"Bellamy," She whispered confusion evident in her eyes.

"Clarke," Bellamy whispered moving his hand from her hair to her cheek. "God I'm so happy to see you."

"What happened?" She asked trying to shift positions, but hissing and grabbing her side.

"Careful," Bellamy said moving to sit next to her on the bed, steadying her with a hand on her hip. He pushed her hair from her eyes and brushed his thumb against her cheek. "You were hit with an arrow. Lincoln, Monroe, and Miller were out hunting and they found you."

"I can't stay here," She said trying to move again, but failing when Bellamy put pressure on her hip holding her in place. "Please Bellamy. Help me get out of here."

"No. I'm not going to do that," Bellamy angrily replied.

"Come on," Clarke said with a small roll of her eyes. "You know I can't stay here. Not after what I've done."

"Clarke," Bellamy said placing his hand on her cheek. "None of them blame you. They're all safe because of you. They need you here."

"I don't deserve their trust. I'm not worth it," Clarke said as a tear ran down her cheek. She jumped in surprise when she felt Bellamy wipe the tear away with his thumb.

"Yes you are," He whispered. "You're worth it. Please don't leave me again Clarke."

"Bellamy I..." She said with a shake of her head.

Bellamy saw the doubt in her eyes and sighed. His shoulders slumped and he sat back, his hand falling from her cheek. She looked up at him in confusion, both at herself for feeling disappointed that his hand was gone and at his reaction. She reached up and placed her hand over his heart, grasping the t-shirt he wore in her hand.

"Hey, look at me," She whispered waiting to continue until he was looking at her. When he finally did, all she saw was sadness and betrayal in his eyes. "You'll be ok without me."

"You're right. I'll survive," He said glancing at her bitterly with stiff shoulders. "But wasn't it you who said we should live, not survive? Ever since you left, I barely sleep and I barely eat. All I do is work. The only time I do eat or sleep is when your mother forces me."

"Bell I..." She began only to be interrupted.

"No forget it," Bellamy replied with a wave of his hand. He stood running his hand down his face then placing his hands on his hips. "If you want to leave again fine. I don't matter much to you anyway you've made that perfectly clear ever since we came down to this damn place."

With that Bellamy left. He brushed past Jackson who was placing a bandage to a cut on Octavia's hand. Jackson placed the bandage on and let Octavia go after her brother, although she had to rush to catch up to him. He flew past a surprised Abby who was just coming back into the medbay with a tin of what looked like water.

"What happened?" She asked Jackson as she watched Octavia catch up to Bellamy finally and attempt to speak to him. He forcefully shook her concerned hands away and stormed away from her, not before saying something to his younger sister that appeared to upset Octavia. The young girl crossed her arms and glanced away from her brother in what looked to Abby like shame before letting him walk away towards his tent.

"I'm not sure," Jackson said putting the supplies he'd used on Octavia's cut away. "He was in with Clarke and then just rushed out."

"I'm going to check on her," Abby said opening the door to the back room they'd placed Clarke in to find her sitting up in bed, her brow wrinkled in concentration. "Clarke!"

"Mom," Clarke said as fresh tears appeared on her face. Despite her itch to be away from the guilt this place held she was happy to see her mother.

Abby rushed over and at the last moment remembered not to squeeze the life out of her daughter. Carefully avoiding the stitches in her side, Abby placed her arms around her and stroked her filthy blonde hair. She wanted answers from her. Why she left? Where she went? But all those could wait.

"Honey why did Bellamy rush out of here so quickly?" Abby asked pulling the stool Bellamy had been sitting on over to the makeshift bed.

"He's upset with me," Clarke replied. "I asked him to help me leave and he didn't like that."

"Of course he didn't. Clarke," Abby said her voice suddenly frantic. "We need you here. We all do. Especially Bellamy."

"I can't stay here Mom," Clarke said. "Not after what I did. I can't look anyone in the eye knowing what choices I made. I'm the bad guy now and the bad guy has to be alone. I don't get to be happy anymore."

"I thought we'd decided there were no good guys," Abby said standing and placing her hands on Clarke's cheeks. "There are only people who are trying to do their best. That's what you did and I know despite that those people can be left with crushing guilt, but you know what? There are so many people who can help you deal with that guilt. There's also someone else who feels just as guilty for the amount of things he's done and you ran away and left him here to deal with all of it alone."

"Bellamy," Clarke replied. "I didn't think about it that way."

"I know you didn't," Abby said pressing a motherly kiss on her forehead. "But not only do we need your leadership, but he needs you. None of the people here, the kids or the Arkers, understand how he's feeling more than you do."

"I never wanted this," Clarke whispered laying her head against her mother's stomach. "I never wanted to be the leader or make decisions."

"I know baby," Abby whispered back wrapping Clarke up in her arms. "But you have two natural born leaders for parents. You never stood a chance."

Clarke chuckled before pulling out of her mother's embrace and whipping her cheek as a tear trailed down. She glanced back towards the door again seemingly hoping Bellamy would walk through.

"I should go find him," Clarke said trying to get up. She hissed with pain when she moved and instead sat right back down.

"I think you need to stay here in bed for a while. Your body needs to heal," Abby said. "Bellamy will come back. You just lay down and rest."

Abby helped Clarke back under the blanket and kissed her forehead again. When she exited the medbay intent on finding Bellamy she ran right into a group of the 47 standing outside the medical area. Raven spotted her first and the mechanic barreled down on her.

"We heard Clarke is awake! Can we see her?" Raven asked.

"She did wake up, but she's asleep now," Abby replied. "Did any of you see where Bellamy went?"

"It looked like he was headed towards his tent after his blowout with Octavia," Monty pointed. Octavia was sitting at a table, Lincoln next to her. He was rubbing her back and listening as she was talking rapidly.

Abby started towards Bellamy's tent. She stopped outside the tent to hear silence from inside. With nowhere to knock she just cleared her throat and announced herself.

"Bellamy it's Abby. I'm coming in," She said and stepped through the flap to find him lying straight as a pencil on his cot. He had his hands folded on his chest and was staring blankly at the ceiling.

"What do you want? Come to tell me she's gone again?" He whispered.

"No I actually came to tell you she's resting, but I think you should be there when she wakes up again."

"Why? To hear her say goodbye to me again?" He said his voice rising. He swung his legs over the side of the cot and stood. "I don't want to hear her goodbye again. It was hard enough the first time."

"Bellamy she's in pain. Not just physically, but mentally," Abby replied. "It's going to take some time for her to be convinced to stay here. I think I convinced her for now, but I'm not going to be the reason she stays here. You have to give her a reason."

With that Abby left. She'd done what she could and now it was up to Bellamy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Word spread around the camp that Clarke was awake and the longer Bellamy spent away from the medbay the more confused everyone became. It seemed like whatever grudge Raven had against Clarke for Finn's death was gone because it was her and Abby that spent the most time with her over the next two days. And despite her mother's promise that Bellamy would come back, he didn't. Two days after she'd first woken up Raven and Monty were visiting her, telling her stories about the camp since her absence that she honestly wasn't listening to.

"Clarke are you even listening here?" Raven asked glancing at Monty who shrugged.

"No I'm not," Clarke replied bluntly. "I'm sorry I'm just a little distracted I guess."

"He will come you know," Monty said.

"What?" Clarke said not realizing she'd been so obvious in the object of her distraction.

"Bellamy," Raven replied. "He'll come eventually. He just needs time to be mad."

"I wish he would," Clarke said. "Come back."

Raven rubbed a comforting hand down her friend's arm and glanced at Monty who shrugged. It took another day before Bellamy finally showed his face. Thankfully Clarke was alone when he stepped through the doorway with his hands in his pockets, rigid shoulders, and a scowl on his face. Clarke put the sketch she'd been doing aside and tried not to be hurt at the angry look on his face.

"Bellamy I'm glad you're here," Clarke began only to be interrupted.

"I'm only here because Raven made me," Bellamy said. "Not by choice."

Clarke didn't know what to say to that. She'd seen him upset and angry plenty of times since coming to the ground and she'd been on the other end of that anger plenty of times too. But after all they'd been through the dynamic between them had changed and she didn't like being on the other end of this anger after that change.

"Bellamy please try to understand..." Clarke began.

"I'm trying Clarke," Bellamy said harshly. "God knows I've tried for months. I kept thinking I knew why you left and that giving you space would make you realize I'm here for you and that we'll get through this. But you didn't come back."

Clarke stayed silent, watching him struggle to keep his emotions in check. This was not the Bellamy Blake she remembered. He looked exhausted and more defeated than he'd ever looked.

"You told me I couldn't run. That I had to face my problems," Bellamy said. "But you ran from yours Clarke and you left me here to pick up the pieces."

"I'm sorry Bell," She said trying to reach for him, but wincing when the gesture tugged on her stitches.

The wince softened his hardened exterior and he stepped closer. He was close enough for her to touch him this time. She grabbed the edge of his jacket and tugged him until he was standing in front of her. She slide her legs in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his chest. The wait for him to wrap his arms around her seemed to drag on for days, but eventually she felt one slide around her shoulders and the other tangle in her hair. They stayed that way for a long time, just holding on to each other tightly as if the other were afraid they'd disappear. When he pulled away she reached out to grab his hand to keep him close. He didn't immediately curl his fingers around hers, but eventually slide his through hers and held on tightly.

"I'm still pissed at you for leaving, but I don't want to be," He whispered to her.

"I know. And I also know just saying I'm sorry won't be enough. But if I promise to try and stay will you try to forgive me?" She asked her heart pounding as she waited for his answer.

When he nodded in response Clarke's eyes filled with tears and threatened to fall. Bellamy lifted his hands and cupped her cheeks, wiping away the tears when they finally did slide down her cheeks. His unusual gentleness is what finally broke the dam all the way and sobs began pouring out. Bellamy carefully scooped her up in his arms and laid them both in the bed. He slid over until he was laying next to her, holding her against his chest. When her tears finally subsided, she leaned back and looked up into his eyes.

"The only way I'll be able to stay here is if I come clean," She said her voice cracking as she spoke. "No more secrets."

"Ok," He said. "We can do that. Together."

"I'm scared," She whispered laying back down against his chest. "What if they all react like Octavia? What if you react that way? What if you end up hating me?"

"I could never hate you," He said. "Pissed at you yes, but hate? Never."

"Bellamy I knew about the missile and I let it fall," She said scooting out of his arms. "I let all those people die, including risking Octavia's life and my mom's and Kane."

Bellamy blinked. At first he was angry, furious. How dare she risk his sister's life like that? But then he looked at Clarke. At the despair in her eyes. Deep blue eyes that were begging him to forgive her. And suddenly Bellamy knew that if he didn't, he'd loose her forever.

"I could never hate you for that. I would be dead right now if you'd acted otherwise and so would our friends. Octavia's alive. So is your mother and Kane.." He replied reaching out for her and placing a hand against her neck. Seeing the hurt in her eyes made him realize if he didn't let go of his anger now, she'd never stay. She would eventually find a reason to leave and he couldn't bare that. Finally he let all the anger slip away and instead pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Clarke I forgive you. For all of it. The missile, sending me to Mt. Weather, leaving. I forgive you."

Her eyes filled with tears and the despair lessened just a little. She reached up and placed a hand against his jaw. He turned his head and placed a small kiss in the palm of her hand, hoping that with his declaration she'd given in and was staying this time.

"I missed you," She said finally letting a small smile break free.

"I missed you too, Princess," He said reaching out to tug her back to his chest.

They talked for as long as they could before Abby came back and discovered them together. She seemed relieved at seeing them together which Clarke was glad for. She didn't seem to notice that they were in bed together, instead only seeing Clarke smile for the first time since arriving back. Abby announced that she needed to check on Clarke's stitches and asked Bellamy for some privacy to do so. He climbed out of the bed, placing a kiss on her forehead again and squeezing her hand before excusing himself.

Clarke had to stay in the medbay for another two days before Abby finally released her. Bellamy was there when she did, ready to help in any way he could. She came out wearing the same clothes she'd left in, a smile on her face when she saw him. She let herself be pulled into his arms, her hands automatically wrapping around his waist.

"Gather the 47," She said.

"Clarke, you don't have to do this now," Bellamy said gripping her waist tightly.

"Yes. I do," Clarke corrected.

"If you're sure," He said gripping her hand and threading his fingers through hers.

They gathered on the far side of Camp Jaha, away from the Arkers. After everyone got over the excitement of Clarke being back and alive, the silence set in. They knew something was about to happen, but they didn't know what. Clarke bit her lip and looked up at Bellamy for reassurance. He ran a hand up and down her back, settling his arm around her waist before nodding.

"I'm right here," He whispered so only she could hear.

"What's going on?" Raven asked, glancing in surprise at Bellamy's arm around Clarke's waist. Only two days ago Bellamy had been sulking and Clarke had been impatiently waiting for him to come back, now they seemed to be joined at the hip.

"I need to be honest with you guys about a few things. No more secrets," Clarke began. "While you were in Mt. Weather we had to figure out a plan. We didn't have enough people to get you out alone so we had to form an alliance with the grounders. Their commander, Lexa, was willing to work with us, but at a price. While I was still with you Bellamy took a group to find us including Finn. Finn was looking for me and he ended up killing half of a village in his search for me. Lexa wanted Finn dead as retribution for that otherwise the alliance would never work and we'd never get you all out. Lincoln told us what they'd likely do to him and instead of letting him be tortured I killed him to save the alliance. So we could save you."

She was greeted with stunned silence. Raven wouldn't look at her, but she didn't seem to hate her anymore at least. Clarke knew a lot of the melted hate had to do with Wick and his devotion to her.

"There's more," Clarke replied powering on despite the silence that had begun. "Bellamy warned us about a missile Cage was going to drop on TonDC. He warned us that it was coming, but instead of warning everyone and evacuating I let it fall. Lexa told me that if we evacuated they'd know about Bellamy and we'd never stand a chance at getting any of you back."

Octavia had her arms crossed tightly across her chest, her jaw locked. She looked on the brink of an outburst, but a steadying hand on her shoulder from Lincoln immediately calmed her down.

"I also made a decision to free all of you that ended up killing all the people at Mt. Weather," Clarke continued desperate it seemed to get everything off her chest quickly. "When I pulled the lever..."

"When we pulled that lever," Bellamy interrupted squeezing her hip for support.

"When we pulled the lever in the control room," She said rolling her eyes at Bellamy. "We brought in outside air which killed all the people in Mt. Weather except our people. It was the only option we had left. I don't expect any of you to forgive me. I can't even forgive myself," Clarke said sighing as her shoulders slumped.

"Hey," Bellamy said pulling her closer until she looked at him. "Stop it."

"It's true," She replied before address the 47 again. "I left because I felt guilty. Decisions that I made cost a lot of lives. But I know now that running away from what I've done is not going to help. I need you guys. All of you."

At first no one moved. No one said anything and Clarke started to fear she'd done more harm than good. Suddenly Octavia pulled away from Lincoln and walked up to Clarke. She stopped right in front of her, just staring at her. Clarke flinched when Octavia reached her hand out. Instead of hitting her like Clarke was afraid she'd do, Octavia grasped both of Clarke's hands in hers.

"I'm just one person Clarke. I know I gave you a hard time about the missile and I won't take that back, but I understand it now. I understand why you did what you did," She said. "And I forgive you."

Octavia pulled Clarke in for a tight hug, wrapping both of her arms tightly around her. The tears Clarke had been holding back slid down her cheek. She squeezed Octavia in return, silently thanking her. Raven came up behind Octavia and hugged Clarke too whispering in her ear. A few of the other 47 followed, but not all of them. Some it seemed were confused and didn't seem to know how to react. After all the 47 had left, Clarke turned to find Bellamy smiling.

"Thank you," Clarke said reaching for him and wrapping her arms around him. Bellamy squeezed her in return, pressing a kiss against her temple. She pulled back and looked up at him. "Not everyone reacted the way I wanted, but it's a start."

"They'll come around," Bellamy said wrapping his arms tightly around her and holding her against his chest. "But Octavia forgave you and, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think that's who you were most worried about right?"

"Yea it was," Clarke replied.

They were interrupted by Kane yelling for Bellamy. He glanced up and signaled to Kane.

"I'll be right there," He called. He turned back to Clarke and rubbed a comforting hand up her arm. "I have to get to my post."

"I don't know what to do with myself," Clarke said with a chuckle. "I guess I have to figure out who I am now."

"You, are Clarke," Bellamy said leaning forward so his forehead was resting against hers. "The brave princess. My brave princess."

Clarke's heart fluttered in her chest, knowing that this time when he called her brave princess he meant it as a compliment. She was surprised at how wonderful his arms felt around her. This is what she'd given up by leaving. This comfort. This support and stability. How she ever thought she could cope without Bellamy and the rest of the 47's support she had no idea.

"I'm trying to believe in myself again," Clarke said pulling back to look in his eyes. "Please don't give up on me ok?"

"Never," He said and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I've got to go. I'll find you later when I'm done."

Clarke nodded and watched him catch up with Kane who'd been standing in the same spot watching them the whole time. Kane glanced back curiously at Clarke then patted Bellamy on the back. Bellamy nodded to whatever Kane asked him and shook hands with the man before heading off toward the front of Camp Jaha.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Clarke spent most of her day with Abby and Jackson, assisting in the medbay. Despite her original hesitation at working so close to her mother, she had to admit to herself that she loved the work. Though she didn't think she'd ever rid herself of the guilt that plagued her, working in the medbay and helping those sick and injured gave her a sense of peace she hadn't felt in a long time. After hours of assisting she gratefully left the tiny medbay and stepped outside into the setting sun. The arkers were gathering around tables together to eat and the 47 were gathering at other tables. Clarke wandered over to the fire, her wheels already turning. That's where Bellamy found her.

"Hey," Bellamy sat down next to her. "How was it today?"

"Fine," She replied distractedly.

"What is it?" Bellamy asked.

"I'm just thinking," She replied glancing back at the 47. "Bell I'm worried. We can't stay here."

The second the words were out of her mouth she realized they were wrong. She could feel Bellamy starting to panic despite the fact that she'd said we. She grabbed his hand and threaded her fingers through his as she turned to face him.

"I meant us. The 47," She said.

As his heartbeat slowly returned to normal he released a breath. He shouldn't have over-reacted, but what did she expect? He glanced back over his shoulder where she'd been watching their friends. Despite how much he'd done in this camp in her absence, he had to admit the rest of the 47 didn't compare. Not for their lack of trying, but the arkers just didn't trust them despite what they'd been through. He'd done his best to try to mend that gap and fix it, but not many of the arkers even trusted him.

"Where would we go Clarke? We have safety here," He replied wanting to play devil's advocate.

"I know but that's not the point. We can fix that," She said fighting back like he knew she would. "Right now our friends' well-being is the problem. Look at them Bellamy. Sure they're safe now and they look better, but they're still trapped. When we were at the dropship we all worked together and yeah we were barely surviving, but at least we were free."

"Clarke," Bellamy replied.

"And it's not like we'd be totally alone anymore. We can talk to Kane and my mom and explain everything and maybe they'll help us. We could be like another clan, like the grounders. I can still come back to train with my mom and Jackson and Monty could come and train with the engineers. We could have that chance to be on our own, to live. If we stay here, our friends won't get a chance to truly live."

"Princess," Bellamy said putting a finger against her lips to silence her. "I agree with you. I was just arguing to get you riled up."

Bellamy chuckled as her face lit up with a smile. She thumped her fist against his shoulder drawing a soft ouch from him.

"So where you planning on sleeping tonight?" He asked.

"I think my mom expects me to bunk with her and as much as I love her I don't think I could handle that," Clarke said. "I guess I'll see if I can bunk with Raven or Octavia if they'll let me."

"Good luck with that," Bellamy replied with a chuckle. "Raven is currently sharing a tent with Wick and my baby sister is sharing a tent with Lincoln."

"You're ok with that?" Clarke asked.

"I can't change her mind," He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "And even though I wanted to kill him when I met him, we wouldn't be surviving the winter without him."

"He loves Octavia you know," She said. "He'd never hurt her."

"I know," He said with a small smile. Bellamy nervously rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "I have a crazy idea."

"Ok shoot," Clarke said waiting for him to explain herself.

"Bunk with me," He said throwing a leg over the log to straddle it facing her. He placed a hand on her thigh, his thumb rubbing her knee. "I don't want to be over-presumptuous, but I know you'll be comfortable with me."

Clarke glanced up at Bellamy. She knew there was fear and uncertainty showing in her eyes and as much as she tried to bury them there was no way she could. Bellamy was waiting for an answer and it seemed like Clarke's voice wouldn't work.

"I don't know Bell," She finally squeaked out.

"I know you still have feelings for Finn and I get that. I'm not trying to change that," Bellamy said drawing a confused look from Clarke. "But I care about you and I just want to be there for you. My tent is open."

Bellamy left her to her thoughts, walking away leaving her to stare into the fire. Was Bellamy really holding back because he thought she still had feelings for Finn? She didn't. Not anymore at least. Her feelings for him hadn't been the same since he'd broken her heart. Clarke jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Clarke turned to find Raven slowly lowering herself in Bellamy's vacant seat.

"He wasn't the same without you here you know." Raven said following Clarke's gaze to Bellamy's retreating back.

"Who?" Clarke asked caught off guard by the statement.

"Bellamy," Raven said. "He needs you. More than I think he even knows."

"I don't know what to say to that," Clarke replied.

"Maybe you don't have to say anything," Raven replied squeezing Clarke's hand. "Maybe you just need to let Finn go. Finn is gone, but Bellamy is here and he cares about you. He's a great man. Give him a chance to show you."

With that, Raven moved back to her table and sat next to Wick. Clarke spent the next few hours sitting by herself thinking. She thought about Finn. About Bellamy. She thought about what it felt like to be in Bellamy's arms and how safe she felt with him. A tear traced down her cheek and she wiped it away with a smile. Standing she made her way across the now silent camp to a tent set apart from the others. She paused outside the opening suddenly nervous. There was no sound coming from the inside and she reached out a tentative hand and pulled the tent flap back. Bellamy was laying on the cot staring at the ceiling. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the cot when she stepped inside. He stood, but kept his distance from her obviously not wanting to scare her.

"I don't have feelings for Finn anymore," She said nervously wringing her hands together. "I don't and I haven't for a while. At the end of the day I know that you're there for me and I feel safe with you. I don't know what I'm ready for, but I don't want to loose you either. I can't."

"You won't Clarke," Bellamy said reaching for her and sliding his arms around her waist. He pressed a kiss to her temple. "I care about you and I'm not going anywhere. We're on your timetable Princess."

She sighed in relief, her shoulders sagging as she leaned forward to rest against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. To Bellamy, she would always be worth the wait.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Bellamy and Clarke's new living arrangements stirred up the gossip train, especially among the 47. They didn't have sex. They just slept. Clarke had her fair share of nightmares and Bellamy was always right there for her when she did. He would hold her when she cried, sometimes sobbing from the nightmare she'd had. Bellamy still had nightmares almost every night. He did his best not to wake Clarke when they happened and so far he'd been able to hide it.

His luck ran out after a month had gone by when his newest nightmare reared its' ugly head, but with a deadly twist this time. When he was finally able to drag his subconscious from the horrible nightmare, he shot up in the cot with sweat pouring down his face, his chest heaving with each breath. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He jumped when he felt Clarke's hands run across his skin. She sat up behind him, sliding her left hand to grip the front of his shoulder and rubbed her right hand across his opposite shoulder. He smiled when he felt her soft kiss on his shoulder.

"You ok?" She whispered.

"Yea," Bellamy replied reaching back to grip her right hand in his, threading their fingers together. "Just a nightmare."

"Want to talk about it?" She asked.

Bellamy started to say no at first. But Clarke's voice echoed in his head saying no more secrets and he knew he couldn't lie to her. He didn't honestly want to. Sighing he laid down, pulling her with him until she rested back against him with her head on his shoulder and her hand stroking his chest.

"It's a newer nightmare," Bellamy whispered lifting his hand to stroke her back. "But for some reason it was worse tonight."

"What happened?" She asked.

"It had been a replay of the day they brought you back," He said. "It kept ending the same way, with you leaving again. But tonight instead of leaving..."

"What Bell?" Clarke whispered.

"You died," He said his voice cracking.

"Bellamy look at me," She whispered waiting until he looked down at her. "I'm alive and I'm right here."

"I know," He whispered pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I just hate seeing it."

Clarke didn't know what to say. She had caused this. Seeing the despair in his eyes broke her heart. Suddenly it became clear to her. She loved him. She wanted to be his dream, not his nightmare. With that new realization, she reached up and placed her lips against his for the first time. After the surprise of feeling her lips against his, he responded passionately pressing his lips more firmly against hers and rolling over so that he was hovering over her. He broke away and pressed a kiss against her cheek, then her neck before placing his forehead against hers.

"God," He whispered. "I've waited so long for that. Are you sure about this?"

"I couldn't be more sure," Clarke said with a smile. She bit her lip to keep the three words that wanted to come out inside.

She gently pushed his shoulder until he was lying on his back. She swung her leg over his hips so she was straddling him, lifting her shirt off in the process. His hands began to travel, starting out rubbing her thighs then slowly moving up to her waist. As his hands started to travel, a radiant smile began to form on her face. He returned the smile as he reached up and snapped her bra open, sliding the straps down her arms. He reached up and started kissing her neck, slowly working his way down until he reached the top of her left breast. Clarke moaned wrapping her left arm around his shoulders, threading the fingers of her right hand in his hair and arching her back.

Bellamy pulled back and captured her lips with his as his hands reached down to unbutton her pants. Once her pants were loose around her hips, he slid his hands down to cup her butt. He flipped them over so he was on top then slid her pants and tattered undies down her legs. She reached down and unbuttoned his pants and did the same for him. He positioned himself at her entrance and leaned his forehead against hers. She smiled and placed her hands against his neck.

"Are you ready Princess?" Bellamy whispered.

She nodded and reached up to capture his lips as he pushed into her. Bellamy buried his head in her neck, staying put in her for just a moment. He began moving, pleasuring them both into oblivion.

Afterwards, they laid together with their legs tangled with the blanket barely covering them. She was laying on her side with her head on his shoulder, running gentle fingers over his chest. He pressed a kiss to her forehead as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm glad you stayed Princess," He whispered against her temple.

"Me too," She replied shifting so she laid on her stomach, resting her hands on his chest and her chin on top of her hands.

"What is it?" Bellamy asked brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I'm scared Bell," She said a tear falling down her cheek.

"Of what?" He asked whipping the tear away from her cheek.

Clarke shook her head, tears sliding out of the the corners of her tightly shut eyes. She slid onto her side her back facing him as she tried to hold the sobs inside. Voicing it aloud would only make it true and she couldn't bare it.

"Tell me," Bellamy whispered sliding his arm across her waist and bringing her close to him as her distress rose.

"What if I loose you?" She said her voice cracking.

"Why would you think that? I'm not going anywhere," He said pulling her tightly against his chest with his arms wrapped around her. He placed a kiss against her neck.

"Every man I've ever cared about gets taken from me," She replied. "What if you get taken from me?"

"I won't," He said tightening his arms around her. "I won't let anything happen to me."

"You can't promise that," She said.

"I can't, but I'll do my best. You'll just have to strip me down and patch up my wounds doc," Bellamy teased trying to make her laugh. She chuckled, thumping him playfully on the shoulder. She turned over wrapping her arms around his neck. He slid over her and kissed her hard.

"I'm serious Bell," She said. "I can't lose you."

"You won't," He said placing his forehead on hers. "I'll always fight to be with you, Clarke. Believe that ok?"

She nodded reaching up to capture his lips. "I believe you."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

She woke the next morning still wrapped in Bellamy's arms, her back resting against his chest. His lips were pressed against her neck and he seemed more content than he'd ever been since she'd met him. A happy sigh escaped her lips. She wouldn't loose this. Like Bellamy, she'd always fight for this. For him. She was shaken from her thoughts by Bellamy's sigh and the arm around her waist tightening. She rolled over to her back and found his dark eyes looking down at her sleepily.

"Morning," He whispered huskily.

"Hi," She whispered back. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and then her cheek. "I'm sorry I cried all over you last night."

"Don't be sorry, Princess," Kissing her gently.

They made love slowly that morning, unlike the night before when it was frantic and quick. Before lifting himself off her to face the day, he placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Clarke placed her hands against his jaw, making sure his dark eyes connected with hers.

"I'm sorry Bellamy," She said seeing the confusion light up his face. "For leaving. I didn't realize that you were feeling the same as I was. You needed me and I left you here all alone."

"It's in the past Clarke," He replied. "I forgave you for that a long time ago. The most important thing is you're here now."

"I just want you to know that I'm not leaving you again. At least not by choice," She said with a small smile.

He felt immediate relief at hearing that. He had no idea how much he'd needed to hear that. Especially now that their relationship had changed. Capturing her lips once again, he tried to convey how happy he was. She must have felt it because when he pulled back, her smile reached her eyes and lit them up. He flopped onto his back and pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back.

"I think we should tell O and Lincoln about our idea," Bellamy said.

"Yeah that's a good idea," She replied trailing a finger across his jaw. "Lincoln especially. He could tell us what areas to avoid, how to build houses or structures here."

"We shouldn't go too far," He ran a hand down her side. "That way we can be close for those who'd like training to come back periodically."

"There's a small lake not far from here that has plenty of room for us to spread out. We could go there," She said.

"Yea that sounds like a great place. We should go check it out today," He suggested.

She nodded leaning up to capture his lips before sliding from the bed and beginning to dress. They left his tent, their fingers brushing together. They spotted Octavia and Lincoln sitting at a table. Bellamy and Clarke settled down across from the couple.

"Hi guys," Octavia happily greeted. Ever since she'd forgiven Clarke their relationship had changed for the better. They were slowly mending their relationship and becoming closer than they'd been. Clarke made her brother happy and that was the most important thing to Octavia, what made her finally let go of her anger. "You two look like you're on a mission."

"Well we have an idea that we've been thinking about and we were hoping you both could help," Clarke began.

"We want to take the 47 and leave," Bellamy said. "Create our own camp. We think they all need it."

"I think you're right," Octavia agreed. "They won't survive here. Lincoln and I aren't faring much better either. They've accepted him, but they will never trust him and will always look at him funny. They treat me the same way."

"They do?" Bellamy asked with a frown.

"Well yea," Octavia replied as if it was obvious. "Most of these people have heard of me, but they've never seen me. To most of them I'm a grounder. They only accept me and don't attack me because of you, Kane, and Abby."

"Why didn't I know that?"

"Well you've been distracted," Octavia said her gaze darting over to Clarke. "When Clarke was gone you didn't see me much let alone anyone else and now that she's back you only see her. Not that that's a bad thing."

"I'm sorry O," He said reaching across to squeeze her hand. "I didn't realize you were having such a hard time."

"It's ok big brother," Octavia smiled. "But it's definitely a good idea. What have you guys thought of so far?"

"Well we've thought of a potential location and we were going to go check it out," Clarke replied. "We were hoping you'd go with us. Especially you Lincoln. We were hoping you'd be able to tell us if the area was safe."

"Anything to get out of this place," She said as she stood grabbing Lincoln's hand as she went. "Meet you at the front gate in five?"

Bellamy nodded. He and Clarke grabbed a pack and filled it with a blanket, some extra medical supplies, and a few extra rations. They met Octavia and Lincoln at the front and started off. Bellamy and Lincoln wandered to the front, while the girls stayed behind. After a few moments of silence Octavia playfully bumped her hip against Clarke's to get her attention.

"Something's different," Octavia whispered so as not to attract the attention of Bellamy and Lincoln.

"What do you mean?" Clarke replied confusion furrowing her brow.

"Did something happen between you and Bell?"

Clarke felt her face heat as she glanced up at Octavia. She found her gaze wandering to Bellamy. He was speaking to Lincoln, all traces of animosity towards the grounder completely gone. Both men were impressive - tall, strong, handsome. But only Bellamy made Clarke's heart beat faster and faster. Only Bellamy made her skin tingle with one simple touch. Only Bellamy made her feel safe and wanted. Oh yes, something had happened.

"Oh my god you should see the look on your face," Octavia teased threading her arm through Clarke's. "Spill! What happened?"

"You sure you want to know O? I mean this is your brother," Clarke replied.

"I don't care. I've never seen him so happy and that's all I care about," Octavia said. "Seriously. What up with you guys?"

"Well last night he had a nightmare about me," Clarke said. "I don't know why, but it made me realize that I love your stupid big brother."

"I knew it!" She exclaimed loudly drawing confused looks from both men. "Did you...you know?"

"Octavia!" Clarke said the embarrassment on her face clearly answering the question.

"Look all joking aside," Octavia said her eyes growing serious and the playful tone gone. "You make him happy and I don't think I've ever seen you this happy either as long as I've known you. I'm glad you're back."

"Me too," Clarke replied with a smile.

Bellamy smiled turning back around to find Lincoln doing the same. The grounder was shaking his head with a small smile gracing his lips. Smiles from him were rare and usually only saved for Octavia.

"I'm glad they're friends again," Bellamy said.

"Me too," Lincoln replied. "Octavia wouldn't have held the grudge forever. She knew it was hard on you."

"Yea I know," Bellamy replied. "I don't know if I've ever thanked you."

"For what?" Lincoln asked.

"For always being there for her. I mean I raised her, but she wouldn't be who she is without you," Bellamy said.

Lincoln nodded patting Bellamy's shoulder. The girls suddenly called out for them to wait up. When they caught up, Octavia wrapped her arm around Lincoln's waist and Clarke slide her fingers through Bellamy's. He smiled and squeezed her hand and pressed a kiss against her temple. They walked a little further before coming up on the lake. It was surrounded by trees on one side and an open meadow on the other, perfect for placing cabins or huts. Bellamy was already feeling more free out here than they were even at their first camp with the dropship.

"This place is so peaceful," Octavia said. "We can stay here right Lincoln?"

"Yes we will be safe here," He replied sliding his arm around her shoulders.

"We can build over there in the meadow," Clarke began, smiling when Bellamy slid his arms around her from behind and brought her to his chest. "A mess hall and supply rooms and a workshop for Raven and Wick."

"A medbay for you with an actual door not just a cloth," Bellamy said placing a kiss on her temple. "This place is perfect."

"I wish it wouldn't take so long to build all that though," Clarke said with a sigh.

"Well, maybe Lincoln, Miller and I can get a group of the guys from the 47 together and start building," Bellamy said. "We need to go back and talk to your mom Princess."

"I know," Clarke replied, the happy tone gone. She knew they had to do this, but she was afraid that her mother would be hurt by this decision. "I hope she doesn't hate me for this."

"Why would she hate you?" Octavia asked.

"It would be like I'm leaving her all over again. Even though I'm not planning on never seeing her again," She explained.

"She just wants what's best for you," Bellamy said. "She'll understand. If she doesn't understand then I'll explain it to her. We can't do this without our Princess."

Clarke smiled and turned to wind her arms around his neck and place a kiss on his lips. She'd missed having someone believe in her so much. Not since her dad was alive. If Octavia and Lincoln weren't right next to them watching them she would have told him the three words she'd been dying to say since last night. He seemed to see it in her eyes though because he smiled at her and then placed a kiss on her forehead.

"We can make this work Clarke," Bellamy whispered. "We just need some time and help to get us started."

Clarke nodded. They spent a couple more hours exploring their new home and planning where they would put certain huts. They decided to put the medbay close to the lake for easy access to water if Clarke ever needed it. The supply room would be built into the same building and Raven and Wick's workshop would be nearby in an effort to keep the work station away from the living quarters. There would be single cabins spread out and they would put a campfire in the middle of the camp.

"Maybe I can find some paper and sketch out our ideas," Clarke said as they made their way back to Camp Jaha.

"I'm sure we can make that happen Princess," Bellamy replied. "First though we need to talk to Kane and your mom."

Clarke sighed, but nodded. They spent the rest of the walk back in comfortable silence each lost in their own thoughts. As they walked back through the front gates they spotted Kane not far from the front speaking to a guard. Octavia and Lincoln bid them good luck and went to join some of the 47. Clarke took a deep breath, gripped Bellamy's hand in hers and approached Kane.

"Bellamy, Clarke. I haven't seen you around today," Kane said as they approached him.

"Can we talk to you and my mom?" Clarke replied.

"Sure. She's in the medbay," Kane said leading the way. They found Abby putting supplies back up on a shelf. "Abby, Bellamy and Clarke have something to talk to us about."

They settled themselves at the table in the meeting room they used for council meetings. Abby seemed concerned but not nervous like she was expecting what was coming. That still didn't help Clarke's nerves though. She felt Bellamy's hand on her thigh which steadied her nerves and gave her courage.

"Ever since I've been back I've noticed something about the 47," Clarke began. "They're miserable here. Not just because of what they went through. That's part of it, but they still feel trapped here. Like they aren't free."

"We want to take the 47 and create our own camp nearby," Bellamy took over. "We've already looked at the area and planned out what we're going to build and where. Lincoln assured us we weren't stepping on any grounder territory either."

"This isn't a bad thing mom," Clarke quickly explained as she watch her mother reach for Kane's hand. "We'll still be back here frequently, especially me. I want to continue to train with you and Jackson and I know there's plenty of our friends who want the same thing from the arkers here. But if the 47 stay here, they will never get better."

"We are all still sky people," Bellamy said. "We just want our chance to live on our own as a separate clan."

"I have to admit I never saw this coming," Abby said glancing up at Kane. "Kane? What do you think?"

"I think we need to give them this chance," He replied surprising both Bellamy and Clarke. "I think they're right. Most of these kids don't have family that made it down and most of them don't trust us and they never will. We're the ones who locked them up and sent them down here in the first place."

Abby sighed and glanced at the nervous leaders of the 47. Bellamy still had his hand firmly on her thigh and Clarke had his bicep in a death grip.

"Just promise me this isn't goodbye for good? I can't bear to loose you again," Abby said.

"I promise mom," Clarke replied the relief evident in her eyes. "This isn't goodbye. This is just us spreading our wings. We'll be here for a while anyway while we build."

They explained the area to them and told them their ideas. They agreed to let Bellamy take some of the 47 out daily to begin building. They would start with the homes and the work areas after that. Abby and Kane were being surprisingly supportive, but neither leader of the 47 wanted to dwell on why that was. Bellamy had a feeling that Abby could already see the positive change in her daughter. Clarke was fighting for her people again. She was healing.

Clarke and Bellamy left the medbay to find the 47 gathered on the far side of the camp all whispering and watching the door to the medbay like hawks. It was obvious that they knew something was changing.

"Let's go tell them," Clarke told him.

"After you Princess," He said with a smile.

The 47 watched them with trepidation and fear clear in their eyes. Bellamy put his hands on his hips and smiled out at his friends, Clarke doing the same.

"Don't look so scared," Bellamy teased. "This is a good thing."

"We know that you guys aren't happy here," Clarke said. "The arkers treat us all like we're still criminals. So we're going to create our own camp nearby. We'll be another clan of the sky crew. We'll be close enough to come back for training which I'm planning on doing, but we'll be free."

"If you want to stay here you can," Bellamy said. "This is your choice. O and Lincoln are coming with us so far. Anyone is welcome."

"Wick and I are in," Raven said happily glancing up to a nodding Wick.

"I know I'm not one of the 100, but I go where Raven goes," Wick replied.

As Clarke and Bellamy expected everyone started agreeing and soon the excitement among them grew. Clarke had to break the news that it would be a while before they could leave as the cabins they were planning still needed to be built. Bellamy told them to figure out their living situations so they knew how many cabins to build and that set their friends off and running. Harper and Monroe quickly gathered a few of the other girls and planned on a 4 bedroom home for themselves. A group of the younger girls did the same. The guys among the 47 were a little less enthusiastic only quietly agreeing to bunk together. The only ones stoically staying out of it were Jasper and Monty. Bellamy was about to step in when Miller suddenly extended an invitation to join his group, an invitation that Monty gratefully accepted.

"You're welcome to join us Jasper," Miller replied his friends agreeing.

"I don't know," Jasper replied. "I think I'm going to stay here."

With that declaration he fled the group. Clarke's shoulders slumped, clearly taking Jasper's anger as her fault. Bellamy rubbed her back in silent comfort, knowing that truly convincing her that wasn't her fault would have to be done in private.

"Don't worry," Miller replied gripping Clarke's shoulder in a friendly gesture. "We'll build his room into our cabin anyway. He'll come around."

Clarke pulled Miller into a hug letting a small thank you out of her lips. Bellamy smiled. Maybe he wouldn't need to convince her after all. As he and Clarke stripped that night and got ready for bed he could feel the worry weighing on her shoulders despite the fact that the day had gone better than planned. Bellamy tossed his shirt and pants in the corner along with her pants. Clarke lifted her shirt over her head and stooped to grab one of his shirts, bringing it over her head. He grabbed her hand and brought her to him, wrapping his hands around her waist. She placed her hands on his chest and turned sad and worried eyes up to him.

"Today was good Princess," He said. "Why the long face?"

"I'm just worried," Clarke said with a small smile. "Every happy thing in my life gets taken away and I am just terrified that this won't work."

"We'll make it work," Bellamy replied. "Remember we fight for happiness. And we'll fight for this."

Clarke's smile finally reached her eyes. He knew exactly what to say every time. She reached up and placed a kiss on his waiting lips. As she pulled back she couldn't keep the words inside.

"I love you Bell," She said feeling his heart beating faster and faster.

"I love you too Princess," Bellamy said pulling her in for another kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The next day, Bellamy took a majority of the guys and a couple of the girls including Monroe from the 47 out to their new home and they began building. They were trying to keep their impact on the forest as minimal as possible so they tried to take trees that were already fallen instead of chopping them down. They couldn't do it forever, but for now that's what they were doing. Lincoln was teaching them how to use the dirt and other things from nature as a type of cement. Combined with the wood they'd been able to find they were creating houses made from nature with real wood roofs. Raven and Wick were tinkering in their workshop at Camp Jaha with metal to make hinges so they could have real doors, something they all didn't realize they needed until they realized it was an option.

Meanwhile, back at Camp Jaha the remaining members from the 47 were working with Octavia and Harper to take the hides of the animals used for food and re-purposing them for blankets. They made a great team. Harper was good with her hands, the work providing a therapy for her. And Octavia was a master at it, finishing more than the other girls combined which didn't surprise anyone considering she'd been helping her mother as a seamstress most of her life. Clarke found a group of them one day four months after they'd begun their project finishing up a large black blanket made from two panther hides.

"Looking good," Clarke exclaimed reaching out to rub a hand across the fur. It would definitely keep its' owners warm during winter months.

"It's for you and Bellamy," Octavia said. "He wanted to make sure everyone else had one before we made one for your cabin. He figured you'd be mad at him if he insisted on making one for his princess first."

"He'd have been right," Clarke replied with a chuckle. He definitely knew her well. "We seem to have mountains of blankets. Plenty for everyone for now. What's next?"

"We were thinking about that and had an idea," Harper said finishing the last stitch on Clarke and Bellamy's blanket. "We thought we could maybe find a way to make mattresses. It would be lots better than the cots."

"We just haven't figured out what we would use to stuff inside it to make the actual mattress," Octavia finished.

"What about leaves?" Clarke suggested.

"We thought of that, but leaves will crumble eventually right?" Harper replied.

"Well what if we stuffed them already crunched up?" Clarke said. "There's plenty of leaves on the ground right now so we might as well take advantage. I know Bell would love having something other than the crappy cot to lay on after a long day and I'm sure the other guys feel the same."

"I know Lincoln does," Octavia agreed. "I think that could work. It's better than any of the other ideas we came up with. The only downside is it might take us a while."

"Well we could have the majority of the other girls crunch the leaves and you and I can sew the mattresses," Harper said. "We already started setting aside hides for the mattresses so we have a jump start on that and you and I are the fastest seamstresses."

"Sounds like you guys have it all planned out," Clarke teased. "I can help crunch the leaves with the others."

"No you should keep training with your mom," Octavia said. "When we eventually move out there we need our doc to have all the answers."

Clarke chuckled and gave a yes ma'am in return. She wandered back to the medbay where Jackson was cleaning a nasty cut on a guard and her mother was taking count of her supplies.

"Hey mom," Clarke said.

"Hi Clarke," Her mom replied distractedly. "What's up?"

"They don't need me," Clarke replied with a chuckle. "Octavia and Harper have whipped the others into shape and have been finishing blankets faster than we expected. They're going to start on mattresses now. They ordered me in here to continue learning."

"Well I can certainly teach you more, but at some point you might have to teach me," Abby said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we did come down with some medical supplies, but sooner or later I'll run out of it and there's no where for me to replace it," Abby replied. "We'll have to make do with natural medicine eventually."

"Well I guess we can learn together," Clarke replied. "What will you teach me today?"

Abby spent the rest of the day teaching Clarke even more about medicine. Clarke knew the basics like the back of her hand and unfortunately thanks to Finn's stabbing she could make her way through an emergency. She could stitch pretty much any cut and dress most wounds. Now came the more complicated things like major surgery. Clarke left that evening with more medical terms running through her head than she'd ever had. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice someone in front of her until she ran right into a familiar rock solid chest.

"Penny for your thoughts Princess," Bellamy teased gripping her waist.

"Sorry Bell. I wasn't paying attention," She replied with a smile.

"I can be distracting," Bellamy said wrapping his arms around her waist and placing a kiss on her lips.

"Yep you and surgical terms," Clarke replied with a chuckle.

Bellamy smiled and gripped her hand, steering her towards the mess hall. After a long day he was sweaty, tired, and starving. All he wanted was a full belly and his arms around Clarke. Lincoln was following closely behind with his arm wrapped around Octavia's shoulders.

"Did you tell him Clarke?" Octavia asked when they all reached the end of the food line.

"Tell me what?" Bellamy asked a slight frown on his face.

"It's nothing bad Bell so loose the sour face," Octavia said.

"Octavia and Harper and the others are finished with the blankets for everyone already and they came up with a great idea for what to do next," Clarke explained. "They're going to start on making mattresses."

The smile that graced Bellamy's face at that statement was usually just saved for Clarke in the privacy of their tent. He pulled a stunned Octavia into a tight embrace not missing the chuckle from Lincoln at the gesture.

"I'm going to say you like our idea?" Octavia teased knowingly.

"You have no idea how amazing a mattress sounds," Bellamy said looking to Lincoln for agreement.

"I'm just sad we won't have one tonight," Lincoln agreed.

Clarke and Octavia weren't all that surprised at the excitement the guys showed. Even though they had been working hard on their projects, they weren't out in the sun all day long. Doing this was a gift not just for themselves, but also for their men who were working harder than most.

"Well your fingers will have to fly sis because we're getting close to finishing most of the cabins," Bell said surprising both girls. "We'll be able to move out there in a few weeks and then start on the medbay."

"Why do my area first? Why not start on the mess hall first?" Clarke argued.

"Because our doc needs her own space," Bellamy replied. "Besides do you really want blood all over our kitchen floor?"

"Yea I guess you're right," She agreed. "But half the guys work on something else too. Not just mine."

"Fine we'll split the work," Bellamy said as he handed her a plate with a smirk.

"Clarke?"

Clarke turned to find Jasper standing nearby looking slightly scared. He was wringing his hands together and shuffling his feet.

"Hey Jasper," She replied. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to stay here by myself. I'm still pissed at you for killing Maya, but I can't stay here with the arkers all alone," Jasper said. "All the 47 are going with you including some others and I don't want to be stuck here with no one who understands what we went through."

"You don't have to Jasper," Clarke said reaching a tentative hand out to him. Jasper took it and sighed. "I know you still need to be upset with us because of Maya and you have no idea how much I wish I could take that back. But you will always have a place here with us Jasper. Miller has been building you a room in his cabin just in case you changed your mind. You don't have to be alone."

"It's ok to be mad Jasper," Octavia chimed in. "All families fight. But you are not alone in this."

True to his word, Bellamy came back to Camp Jaha with the others and told the 47 to start packing. There was only one more days work left before the cabins were completed. There wasn't much for them to pack, just the few extra pieces of clothing they all had. Octavia was overseeing a group packing up the blankets they'd made and stacking the mattresses they'd made so far by the front gate. Clarke was with her mother trying to sort through the remaining supplies to see what she could take to get them started. Her mother had brought down an extra set of surgical knives and handed over some other supplies including some bandages and suture kits.

"That's about all I can give up honey," Abby said.

"I understand," Clarke replied as she stuffed the items in her bag. Bellamy had put all their other belongings in his bag earlier that night. "I appreciate you giving even this up."

"I'm so proud of you. Of all of you," Abby said pulling her daughter into a hug. "I wasn't sure if you'd be able to pull this off, but you did."

"I didn't do anything," Clarke said as she pulled back. "Bellamy's the one that did it all. He's been doing the building, gathering the supplies, motivating all those kids to build cabins. I can't believe the day we move is already here."

"You put a fire back inside him Clarke," Her mother said. "He was a little lost when you left. He needed to find his purpose again and you gave that to him."

"I didn't expect him," Clarke said smiling as she thought of him. "I can't be half the leader, half the person I am without him."

"I know," Abby said hugging Clarke again. "I'll see you in a few days right?"

"Of course mom," Clarke said throwing her backpack on her shoulder. "This is not goodbye. This is see you later."

Clarke left the medbay and made her way to she and Bellamy's tent. She found him snoring on their cot. With a chuckle she set the backpack full of med supplies aside and stripped. She tossed her clothes on top of the bags and crawled in under the blanket in just her underwear. Even fast asleep Bellamy lifted his arm to let her snuggle into his chest. She rubbed a hand up his side and placed a kiss on his chest before snuggling in and going to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

When they woke the next morning they dressed, broke down their tent, and pulled their backpacks on their shoulders. Bellamy and Clarke had insisted again on everyone else getting a mattress before they did so in addition they packed up their cot to take with.

"You ready Princess?" Bellamy asked.

"I was born ready," Clarke said.

It took a few trips to get all their supplies and belongings to the new camp site. When they came through the trees and Clarke got her first glimpse of the camp she stopped in her tracks. The cabins weren't spectacular, but they had walls and real roofs. There was a large campfire in the middle of the cabins with logs and stumps placed in a circle. The beginning structure for the medbay had already begun by the lake and next to it and even larger structure had begun as well. The mess hall most likely. She turned to find Bellamy patiently waiting while she took everything in a slightly nervous smile on his gorgeous face.

"What do you think?" He asked.

"I think it's amazing Bell," She said kissing him hard.

"Do you want to see our place?" he asked taking her hand in his when she nodded.

He led her to the first cabin. Knowing Bellamy he'd planned it that way so he could defend his people. Always the protector. Their cabin being the first was closest to the trees and they surrounded the cabin on one side. Bellamy lifted the hatch and pushed the door open. Again it wasn't spectacular, but it was theirs. The door opened to a large room that served as a living and eating area. There was actual furniture in it including a large table with chairs around it on one side of the large room and two rocking chairs on the other side with what looked like a bear hide on the floor serving as a rug. She turned to the first bedroom where a structure had already been built waiting for their mattress.

"I know it's not much," Bellamy said rubbing his neck nervously.

"It's more than I could ask for Bell," Clarke said running and throwing her arms around his neck. Bellamy wrapped his strong arms around her tightly. "I do have one question though."

"Shoot," He said as he pulled back to look in her eyes, his arms still wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Why the extra bedroom?" She asked pointing to the other closed door across the large living area.

"Well Princess I figured this would be home, our future. I'm in this for the long haul," He said cupping her cheek with his hand. "I was hoping you were too and I was hoping that some day we'd have a reason to fill the extra room. Maybe build others even."

Clarke's heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. How she'd come so lucky to call this man her own she'd never know. She'd never thought of her future, especially after she got locked up. Maybe she'd never considered it because she hadn't met him yet. Now that she had, she wasn't planning on letting him go. She slid her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his lips.

"I love the sound of that," She said happily. "And I love you. After I was locked up on the Ark I never thought I'd have a chance to have a long haul with someone. You have no idea how much I want that with you."

Bellamy smiled and kissed her passionately wrapping her in his arms and lifting her until she was sitting on the new kitchen table. Before he could rip her shirt over her head there was a knock on their door.

"Knock knock," Octavia said as she pushed the door open only to suddenly stop in her tracks. "Oh gosh I'm sorry!"

"It's alright O," Bellamy said smiling at his sister with his hands still firmly planted on Clarke's thighs.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat dinner at that table," She teased as she plopped down in one of the rocking chairs. "Man this thing is comfy. Bell will you make me a rocking chair?"

"I already started," He replied. "It's in the other room over there."

"Awww you're the best big brother," Octavia said. "Anyway I just came in to check your new place out. You and the guys really outdid yourselves Bell. These places are amazing."

"Don't thank me. I might be handy and good with my hands, but Lincoln was the true mastermind," Bellamy said.

Another knock on the door brought Miller in to the hut next.

"Boss can I borrow you for a sec?" He asked. Bellamy nodded, placed a kiss on Clarke's forehead and followed his friend out.

"I really am sorry I interrupted," Octavia said moving to hop up on the table next to her friend.

"It's ok," Clarke replied as she stared at the extra bedroom.

"Lincoln built an extra room in our place too," Octavia said following her gaze. "I think Lincoln and my brother did some talking while they worked."

"He said he was in it for the long haul and that he was hoping we could fill the room one day," Clarke whispered happily. "And he said maybe we could build onto the cabin too. I thought he'd picked the first cabin so he could be the first defense, but now I think he wanted the extra room to build onto the cabin someday."

"Clarke that's great," Octavia exclaimed pulling her friend into a hug. "Lincoln told me something similar. I don't think I've ever been this happy."

"Me either," Clarke replied.

The next week was hectic. Bellamy and Lincoln had most of the 47 working on building the mess hall and medbay. After settling into their cabins and unpacking their meager belongings those who weren't building either went hunting or went back to Camp Jaha for training. Clarke and Monty went back mid-way through their first week, Clarke to learn more from her mom and Monty split his time training with the scientists and environmentalists. They'd settled into a routine. When Clarke wasn't back at Camp Jaha working with her mom she helped build the medbay. The mess hall was mostly complete and had become the place they stored the food. As the end of their third week came to a close, the medbay was close to being finished. Clarke was inside planning out the layout when she heard the door open and a familiar voice drift over.

"There you are Princess," Bellamy said. "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking," She replied. "Do you think we have enough extra tents to re-use?"

"I'm sure we do. Why?"

"I was thinking about the layout in here and since you guys so graciously built me four beds I was thinking it would be nice if there was privacy if more than one of them was in use," She explained. "I was thinking maybe we could use some of the tents that aren't being used to hang in between the beds."

"Sure we can do that," Bellamy said wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her temple. "We weren't really sure what you'd need in here other than beds for patients. Anything else you think you'll need?"

"A really big workspace would be great. Like a giant table to put in the middle," She said. "And shelves if that's possible. Right now all my supplies are still stuffed in my bag."

"Anything for you Princess," He said. "I've got half the guys starting on Raven and Wick's shop now which shouldn't take too long. I've got plenty to spare to start on this giant table. Do you think Monty would like a workspace of some kind? I know he's been working the the scientists and environmentalists a lot lately and will want space to work."

"I'm sure he'd love that," She replied. "The other day on our way back from Camp Jaha he mentioned he thought we should maybe try and grow our own herbs and plants for when the medical supplies eventually run out. He mentioned some type of structure that functioned like a green house. I don't know how we'd build something like that, but maybe we can come up with something."

Bellamy smiled and kissed her temple. They left the medbay, closing the door behind them. Dusk had begun to fall and the fire in the middle of the camp had been lit. Monty was standing handing out cups and their friends were happily drinking the liquid inside. They were laughing and joking. Even Jasper seemed to be smiling at the party happening around him.

"Looks like Monty made a batch of moonshine," Clarke wrapped her arm around Bellamy's waist as his slid around her shoulders.

"Well we survived our first week without the ark," Bellamy replied.

"We definitely have a reason to celebrate," Clarke smiled as she watched their friends laugh. Octavia was sitting with her legs draped over Lincoln's and an arm around his neck. They were smiling and laughing as they talked. Raven and Wick were in similar positions. "Look how happy they are."

"We'll be ok here Princess," Bellamy placed a kiss on her temple.

"We will," She nodded back reaching up to kiss him.

"Clarke! Bellamy!" Miller shouted holding up two cups of moonshine. "Come on!"

"Here's to our fearless leaders!" Octavia said raising her glass as Clarke and Bellamy approached and took the cups Miller held out. "It's great to have you both back in action."

The 47 raised their cups and loudly agreed with Octavia. The party commenced well into the night, the 47 taking full advantage of being free and on their own again. There were still scars, some that would never heal. But they were stronger than they'd ever been and they knew that together, the struggle to survive would cease to exist. Now they had the chance to live.


End file.
